whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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