Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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