My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize