So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I made him laugh his dick is mine
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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