Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize