I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
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i really wish james franco would like my vagina
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I would ride that face into the sunset
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize