i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize