Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
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Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
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We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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