do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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