ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least life still wants to fuck me.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize