Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Found the puke drawer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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