don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
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she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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