I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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