we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
she smelled like a LAN party
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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