Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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