guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize