i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize