I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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