just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
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yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
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Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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