Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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