WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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