Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Sext me about skeletons
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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