i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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