i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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