I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
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I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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