a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
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Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
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he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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