How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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