oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
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I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
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I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
It's rum buckets o'clock
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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