i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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