I just threw up on my dentist
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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