...so i touched it.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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