one word: firstdatebathroomanal
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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