lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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