Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize