I'm so fucking centered right now
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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