My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
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Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
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I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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