threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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