I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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