oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
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his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
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I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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