you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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