i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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