There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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