We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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