i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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