How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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