too bad you live with your parents still
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize