I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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