There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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