i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize