Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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